Excuse me while I class the joint up a bit…

Fun fact: I don’t always remember things. That’s more for my mom than anyone else since she likes to send me emails asking why I haven’t updated my blog in forever. Yes, my mom reads this – shocking I know. She’s one of about 20 or so of you out there that find what I write (or think about writing) the slightest bit amusing. Well, 19 of you anyway. I’m pretty sure my mom’s a bit biased seeing as I popped out of her and all.

Speaking of popped out…I just got over the most gut-wrenching stomach flu of all time. Yup, 48 hours of pure hell. I had such an amazing weekend too going to Bern’s Friday night with my girl and a few of her friends, celebrating Gasparilla and then playing a show Saturday night at New World. We did everything right. We paced ourselves, we drank lots of water and ate fairly well…and then…well then Sunday night/Monday morning came and had different plans for me other than heading to the office. Instead of heading to the office I headed to the bathroom…for two days. Worst. Experience. Ever. I won’t go into detail but you know what happens when you get a stomach bug. Yea, no fun for anyone.

Look mom, no cavities!

I’m among the majority of people that loathe going to the dentist. Up until about three or four years ago it had been a good seven or eight since I’d been. It wasn’t because I didn’t give a damn about my teeth – it was out of pure fear of someone digging around in my mouth and causing me discomfort and making up reasons for me to have procedures done that I didn’t need simply so they could line their pockets with my money, pain and tears.

My obligatory post about the weather and ability to butcher the English language while locking myself out of my own home.

Florida just can’t catch a break. When it’s hot, we complain and when it’s cold, we still complain. Personally, I enjoy the cooler temperatures since they’re extremely short-lived and nowhere near as extreme as the summer heat we get down here. Still though, cool is one thing but in the 30’s, seriously? That’s just crazy. This morning I walked out to my car covered in about a half inch of ice and the ground looked like it just snowed. I haven’t seen snow since I was a kid so that was nice but looking at my car I had to scratch my head and think about how I was going to handle removing the ice so I could drive. Well, since I don’t keep an ice-scraper in my car, I used the next best thing…my health insurance card. Some people rub buddah for good luck, some knock on wood. Me? Well I scrape ice off with my insurance card in hopes that I don’t end up like half my friends are right now – sick in bed.

To top it all off, my dumbass locked myself out of the house this morning. As a habit I always lock the bottom lock from the inside then walk out with my things and lock the other lock from the outside. Pretty typical except this morning I was so preoccupied with juggling my lunch for the day, coffee, papers for work and spare jacket that I managed to lock my keys inside. Luckily I didn’t need them for the car and luckily my friends down the street have a spare they can drop off for me later. If they had been out of town I would have been royally screwed since the only other spare is on the other side of town, sick in bed like everyone else. Ah, the life of a scatterbrain…

Happy New Year, now get back to work…

I took the last two weeks off from work because, well…I could. For the first time in years I took vacation time and didn’t go on an actual vacation or tour or even leave the house that often. It was perfect. Unlike most vacations, the latter part of the two weeks outweighed the start of them tremendously but now it’s all over…for now. I came to work this morning thinking, “meh, I’m happy to be employed and in all honesty I do love my job” however, it’s trying to get back into the swing of things that’s ultimately a royal pain in the arse. I think my ideal job would be to sleep and document my dreams which would then be turned into television commercials. You know, the ones that make no sense whatsoever. Like a penguin swimming across a flooded football field and then it just ends with Cody’s Roadhouse logo or something. Genius.

What a way to celebrate the the first day I was ever nude in public.

Today is my last day of work for the year. It also happens to be my birthday and I’m spending it by trying to show people how to use an upgraded email client and CRM I installed over the weekend and all while trying to refrain from throat-punching everyone in the process. It amazes me how intimidated people get by change. Instead of doing that thing that used to take you and hour to do, you can now do it in about 20 minutes. Shut your mouth and learn! Oh and when I send you an email a week prior to making changes, read it and don’t wait until after I’ve done the work to inundate me with questions that were answered in said email from the get go. I need a drink.

WikipediaWictionaryChambers (UK)Google imagesGoogle defineThe Free DictionaryJoin exampleWordNetGoogleUrban DictionaryAnswers.comrhymezone.comMerriam-Webster<>0

wvcidfjoguarm